Coping Mechanisms
by Doctor Morrison
Summary: "Ichigo quickly sifts through the memory bank labeled "Uryuu's Quirks" and surmises that something is wrong." A series of related mostly Uryuu-centric Yaoi, AU oneshots in non-chronological order. Relationships and warnings will vary with each chapter.
1. Separation Anxiety

_I don't own Bleach. Possibly triggering material involving mental illness, self injury. This is AU yaoi fanfiction and will be the first of many one-shots._

Separation Anxiety:

Inspired by a real conversation

Ichigo knows that he's never seen anything so beautiful than the moonlight softly outlining Uryuu naked, pale skin as he sits up from the couch extending bother arms as he stretches wearing nothing but a pair of gray sweatpants. The shadows behind him extend like the wings of an angel. Beautiful. No matter how much he protests, Ichigo will always consider him so. He tosses his coat on the nearest chair and takes off his shoes, letting Uryuu get his bearings before they speak.

"You didn't have to wait up." Ichigo says quietly with a smile. Uryuu runs a hand through his hair giving him that small laugh that would've been derisive all but a few years ago.

"But I did." He replied, never missing a beat as always. Ichigo strides to the couch and embraces Uryuu and is embraced in return. He could sense it before they even said anything else. With Uryuu clutching to him, digging his nails into his shirt and burying his face into his neck, Ichigo quickly sifts through the memory bank labeled "Uryuu's Quirks" and surmises that something is wrong. He pulls back carefully before Uryuu can kiss him hello and holds him by the shoulders. "What it is it?"

"Nothing." Uryuu replies, too tried to bother with being evasive. It's after midnight. Late hour be damned, something was seriously wrong. "I just missed you. You were gone for two weeks. It's a long time for a new couple, don't you think?" It's not a slight. If it were, Uryuu would make eye contact with him. Instead, he just gets up, gathering the sheets and pillow from their tiny sofa. Ichigo stops him, sensing the desperation and maybe even a hint of fear surrounding the lover he is so glad to come home to.

"Are you angry with me?" He asks. Wrong question.

"What kind of question is that?" The response sets them in the middle of a dangerous minefield. Conversations like this could end in one of them exploding and leaving. "You just got back. Why in the world would I be upset?" In other words, don't _give_ me a reason to be upset.

"I'm sorry." Uryuu seems even more hurt now, but Ichigo continues. "But I know something's wrong, I figured I'd ask and get it out of the way." Uryuu relaxes but that frown is still there.

"Don't apologize." Uryuu replies quietly. His soft tone is like a small needle to the chest and Ichigo instinctively reaches out for Uryuu who instinctively steps just out of his reach. Ichigo waits as the other silently chastises himself and places the blankets and pillow aside to accept the embrace once again. Once his arms around him, Ichigo realizes that Uryuu is shaking. He gives him a moment before speaking again.

"Did something happen?" he asks. He only response is silence for the moment. This usually means yes. Ichigo waits another two moments before asking once more. "Please tell me that you'll let me help you this time." He is _not about_ relive the incident with Dr. Kurotsuchi. Ichigo buries his face in Uryuu's fine hair and sighs, hoping for a response. For now, Uryuu hasn't let go or stepped back which is a good sign. Ichigo waits and can feel the weight descending on the both of them before Uryuu finally responds.

"I've...been having nightmares." Ichigo's heart falls into his chest. Guilt forces his arms tighter around his lover of four years. Uryuu has struggled with Depression for years and he knows that his absence didn't help. Uryuu had assured him that he would be fine alone but Ichigo now knows he just wanted him to go without feeling guilty.

"Why didn't you call me?" Ichigo laments. "All you had to do was call and I would've come running." Now Uryuu steps back but he's still within reach.

"I won't jeopardize your future because I can't sleep at night." Ichigo hates it when Uryuu attempts to make his illness sound as unimportant as possible.

"You know it's more than that." Ichigo replies almost warningly. It has always been more and the nightmares, the old scars of self inflicted wounds running up and down Uryuu's arms and the lingering bottle of generic anti-depressants sitting on the are bathroom sink are quite enough to attest to that. "Did you call Ayasegawa-san at least?" Uryuu glues his eyes to the ground. Ichigo sighs, sounding irritated but that's not his intention. Uryuu knows he didn't. He doesn't let it bother him.

"I can't be his burden anymore, running to him every time..." Ichigo can't take this.

"Stop it." He's pleading with him gazing right into those blue eyes. He can see the ruptured blood vessels now. His hands take Uryuu by the shoulders. He can feel the weight loss without even asking. He's disappointed but not enough to scold him. He's mostly worried. "Uryuu, don't go back to that place." That Place is a dark, shadowy corner of Uryuu's mind that convinces him that he's nothing but dead weight, a burden that doesn't deserve the attention he gets. In his worst moments, Uryuu can swear he can hear his father's voice belittling him from beyond that grave. "You're not a burden. Not to me." Ichigo shakes him a little just to prove his point. Those red rimmed eyes close and Uryuu's forehead falls back to Ichigo's shoulder. The silence settles between them for an untraceable amount of time. Uryuu finally gets to the heart of the matter.

"I missed you so much." The statement is far more profound than the previous one. Ichigo feels his arms wrapping tighter around Uryuu before he even realizes he's doing it. He had only been gone for two weeks but he should've considered Uryuu's condition no matter what he said. "I'm sorry." Uryuu says softly. "I just...I thought I was getting better and..." Uryuu looks back up to Ichigo's eyes, full of the stability and consistency he's craved his whole life. They sit down on the couch together. "I'm tired of going backwards, Ichigo."

"Do you want to set an appointment with Dr. Unohana?" Ichigo asks, knowing he's treading into dangerous territory suggesting that Uryuu go back to the psychiatrist. Uryuu doesn't respond with anger instead he leans his tired head on Ichigo's shoulder and buries his face into the crook of Ichigo's neck.

"No, I just...I just need you here with me." Uryuu already sounds a little more at ease. Ichigo smiles and before he knows it, he lets out a nosy yawn. He checks the clock and it's nearly two am. Uryuu lets out that small chuckle Ichigo knows so well. He doesn't sound "better" but he knows that Uryuu will be sleeping peacefully tonight. He would see to it personally. "So much noise, Kurosaki." Ichigo smiles and grabs the blanket and pillow from the floor. "The bed's in the other room." Uryuu sounds too sleepy to be snarky. Ichigo feels exactly the same as the two lay back down on the couch.

"Don't feel like moving." He muttered burying his face into Uryuu's sweet smelling hair. Garnier Fructise Revive Conditioner, sandalwood bath soap and just the faintest hint of nicotine. Ichigo wraps his arms around Uryuu's decidedly thin frame. "Uryuu?'

"Hm...?" He was just about ready to go back to sleep.

"I missed you too." Ichigo can _feel_ Uryuu smile before he responds.

"I love you."

"I love you too." In the back of his mind, Ichigo is still concerned for his significant other. The weight loss, the nightmares...he couldn't simply ignore it. Hearing the soft, small snores coming from the other man, Ichigo smiles and closes his eyes.

They'd talk in the morning.

_Please review. Thank you for reading._


	2. The Art of Hitting Rock Bottom

**Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach.**

**First off: Let me give a big thanks to Miss Kitty Chevious for helping me realize that I've been going about this the wrong way. This series can be read as a vingettes but they lose thier meaning when posted separately. So thank you.**

**This Renji/Uryuu and takes place about four to five years before Separation Anxiety. The style switches from present to past tense. The shift is pretty noticeable. **

**Possibly triggering material includes: Alcoholism, Drug use, graphic gay sex, graphic vomit, and lots of angst.**

The Art of Hitting Rock Bottom:

A look into the lives of Abarai Renji and Ishida Uryuu

Uryuu wakes to the burning sun and curses it back under the horizon as he shuts the blinds. He hates Renji's apartment. The single bedroom window faces east which doesn't make for a pleasant morning for someone coming off a hangover. Looking down at the tracks in his arms, he reminds himself that this is more than a hangover. His skinny body disentangles itself from Renji's. They're both snug under the thick duvet, but their skin is cold and clammy, covered in red blotches. Uryuu doesn't remember much of last night, but with the dried clumps of cum covering his thighs, it's easy to assume what happened. As he sits up, he's incredibly aware of the sharp, aching pain from his knees traveling up to his waist where two large bruises sit. He glances back down at Renji who's been treated just as badly with claw marks decorating his back. No surprise, they are always rough with each other every time.

_Renji shoved Uryuu up against the door the very moment the got into the apartment and crushed their lips together. It wasn't a kiss so much as a collision. The stimulants and alcohol clashed in their systems sending them reeling into a downward spiral of lust, tearing at each other's clothes. Hell, how could they even tell they were in the right apartment? God, they didn't care they just needed to fuck. Now. Uryuu bit down hard on Renji's bottom lip and started to fuck the older man's mouth with his tongue. _This is what I want..._Uryuu wanted to say... _I want you to fuck me like this._ It's late, he didn't bother to look at the time, but he knew it was late enough to wake Renji's neighbors._

Uryuu glances at the clock and sighs. It's only 9:30. His body doesn't know how to sleep in apparently. He sighs realizing that he actually has to _climb_ over Renji to get the to bathroom. The rate at that far too familiar cold, aching sensation means he needs to get to there quickly. His clammy skin almost sticks to Renji's. With a sharp frown, he's disgusted at his own utter disregard for hygiene. He gets so careless when he was high. He can't afford to get sick and God only knows what bacteria could be lurking in this pig-stye. He hated Renji's apartment so much. The idiot could barely keep it clean.

_Uryuu didn't know what they tripped over—he couldn't even bring himself to care—whatever it was, it sent them careening into the sofa. Renji nearly landed on him. He could've broken him in half, the heavy brute. Uryuu disregarded the "what ifs" and sucked the hot, sweaty skin flesh of Renji's neck. The friction between their cocks forced Renji to make a split decision. He bit Uryuu's sensitive ear. He needed more than frottage and hickies. He growled out a command that earned a starved moan from his lithe little plaything. He bucked up __sharply just to prove his point. _Now. I want it now_. Renji tries to catch his breath to say it, but Uryuu's sharp nails raking down his stomach make that impossible. _

Uryuu digs his nails into his naked stomach as he struggles into the clothes he keeps in Renji's apartment since he always seems to end up here. It could be worse. He could be in some god forsaken alley buying pantyhose from prostitutes. Hell, they're better than he is. They get money for giving it up without strings. What did he get? Breakfast. _Occasionally._ His limbs are too numb, too cold to manage to put on a shirt. He just wraps a towel of debatable cleanliness around his waist and stumbles into the bathroom, collapsing to his knees in front of the toilet.

_Renji licked his lips watching half-naked Uryuu get down on his knees in front of him. The latter wasn't in the mood for teasing. He tore open Renji's pants with that beautifully uninhibited look in his eyes the boy only got after three or four shooters and a good hit. Uryuu reveled in that low, primal growl as he sucked down Renji's thick, salty cock. He wasn't allowed to go his own pace. Renji's fist pulled his hair forcing him up and down at a brutal rate. He clawed at Renji's knees. It wasn't not a plea to stop. It was a plea for more. He begged for it, even as Renji's cock beat at the back of his throat. _

Uryuu's throat gets suddenly shorter and he gags, praying for just a hard dry heave. How humiliating would it be to vomit all over Renji's toilet? He doesn't have any time to mull over it as he proceeds to do just that; not just profusely but _loudly. _A multicolored combination of bar food, bile and desperation surged up from his stomach. It could be worse, he supposes. Worse than crippling nausea and chills shaking your bones. He barely has time to wipe his mouth before heaving into the toilet once again. Even now, he's a sick little masochist. How much pain will it take before he really forgets? How many track marks would he have by then? How many ill-fated stints in rehab? He's running out of questions and wherewithal and he lets his gagging and coughing answer back.

_Uryuu fought back a coughing gag since Renji showed no sign of stopping. He only abided by the younger man's wishes and he wouldn't want another way. The rougher Renji was, the easier it became to block everything out. The chemicals were still working their way through their veins and the alcohol poured out of their sweat glands. Renji's hands worked through his hair making him go harder, faster. It wasn't passion, it wasn't love. It was need. The volume of Renji's voice meant he was close. God, so close. Uryuu was thankful for the warning and the assault on his throat ended with an explosive finish. He let the sticky, hot substance pour down his throat before finally swallowing._

Spitting the last little bit of sick into the toilet, Uryuu sighs and buries his face in his hands unsure of whether he's ashamed or exhausted. _Both_. He feels a presence standing over him and he knows it's Renji. The man sits down beside him and remarks on how fucked up they were last night. Uryuu chuckles weakly and agrees, reveling in the fleeting feeling of his friend's hand roughly patting his back. Softly, he asks just how hard Uryuu is coming off of their mindless binge from last night. The question is rhetorical. Nevertheless, Renji is worried. Uryuu's never been this bad before. Basically naked, collapsed on the floor, puking. If there was anyone who he would never think of as a train wreak, it was Uryuu. He eyes that shivering body and frowns. Have they finally hit the pits?

_They hit the bed even though neither had any recollection of how they got there. They kept kissing and tearing at each other. Uryuu bit down on Renji's outstretched fingers covering them with sticky cum-stained saliva. He let out this high, keening wail as Renji forced two fingers into his small, puckering hole. Renji grinned wolfishly flipping Uryuu on his stomach so fast, his head almost hit the wall. He pulled the young one's hips up to his face. Tongue and fingers attacked that hole once more. A loud "OH FUCK!" hit the ceiling and Renji knew that he hit the good spot. It was time to get to the good part._

It's about time, Uryuu decides, to get off the floor. Unfortunately, he's not successful and Renji gets up and all but drops him into the shower. When Uryuu asks why, Renji just shrugs and replies that he smells sweaty getting a awkward, forced chuckles from both of them. Uryuu barely gets a chance to get the towel off before Renji turns on the hot water. He doesn't complain when the other strips down and they both just sit in the water, trying to get warm. The shakes have gotten to them both now. This is not the conventional way to shower together, sitting at the bottom of the shower floor, with nothing but the silence of regret and abject discomfort. Still, they trust each other. With a mix of soap and steaming water the grime of last night is clumsily scrubbed off their bodies. With a heavy dose of shame, Renji's eyes skate over the two hand print sized bruises on both side of Uryuu's hips and wonders if he should bother embarrassing each other with apology.

_Renji grabbed Uryuu's hips and pulled him back sharply mercilessly penetrating him. Uryuu chanted "Fuckmefuckmeharderplease...morepleasemore..." into the pillow his face was buried in. The poorly supported bed chafed the dry wall, rocking back and forth with powerful abandon. Renji had Uryuu at his control and the latter was far too happy to oblige. Grunting, cursing and thrusting, the two moved in uncoordinated fashion. Uryuu twisted the sheets beneath him. Renji grabbed arms and abused the new angle to his complete advantage. God, Uryuu wass so fucking tight...and he made sure to tell him that over and over. He felt so good, only a whore could know how to fuck that good. _

The water's still hot when Renji asks if Uryuu remembers what he called him last night. He remembers exactly. Renji doesn't need to apologize. It's true. Whore is an accurate label and he won't argue with it. Renji begs to differ. They always do this. Always. They clamor out of the shower. Uryuu's bluntness frustrates Renji and the latter has an explosive temper. That's even worse when he's hung over. They are shouting now. Uryuu's tired body nearly falls back over as he struggles to get dressed. A loose sweater and jeans; it's cold out there. They're screaming at each other by now. It's always like this. Two boys, a foster child and a neglected son, who went their whole lives struggling for affection. Begging for contact. Pleading for it. They can't abuse their bodies anymore so they abuse each other with razor-edged words, flinging them like weapons. This time, one of them was bound to be cut deep and crawl away bleeding.

_Having flipped Uryuu on his back, Renji's positive that the resulting nail marks were bleeding. The alcohol tinted sweat streamed into them, but it was a good burn. The air was searing, teeming with heat and shouted affirmations of pure filth. Renji wondered if the __thumping on the wall is either his bed or his neighbors. He realized he didn't care. All he knew was the tight heat of Uryuu's hot little ass and his nails clawing gnawing at him. Pouring out obscenities, their swollen, red lips smash together and their tongue wage all out war. Renji pounded into Uryuu who just took it arching up into those bruising thrusts. Like he could give a damn about being sore. Those moans and curses built up to screams and Renji grabbed Uryuu's cock stroking him hard enough to chafe. As Renji's came into that ass filling it with that burning cum, Uryuu _shrieked_ out his orgasm. _

Uryuu's hoarse voice screams out an outraged plea for Renji to "just stop" that stuns the latter into silence. Not out of offense but shock. In the dull 10:30am sun, he sees the glimmer of tears and is completely unable to reply. Uryuu won't meet his eyes. His head is just bent with small, raspy breaths scraping his lungs. Renji's hand goes for his shoulder Uryuu jerks back avoiding touch altogether. Renji has never seen Uryuu like this. Ever. The smaller man's shaky hands silently collect the rest of his belongings before Renji can apologize for...anything...please anything just to make it better. There is nothing. Nothing that can fix this. They are spent.

_Spent, the two fell back on the bed tangled up in each other, still kissing, licking and biting. The combined force of alcohol, chemicals and rough sex was far beyond any sort of normal high. Their minds were blissfully blank, clean slates for the alcohol to corrupt. Free of memory and pain. Light as feathers. Panting raggedly, they hung onto each other like they planned on cuddling then they suddenly burst into loud, nearly hysterical laughter._

Uryuu struggles under silent, suppressed sobs. Renji is utterly lost. They stand there, buckling under the weight of regret and confusion. There would never be an escape. Would there? It would always be like this. Always. No matter how many binges they went on, no matter how many used needles they obtained, they would always end up back here. Cold, shaking and trapped by memory, pain and addiction.

_ They were sky-high._

This is rock-bottom.

**Thank you so much for reading. Please review.**


	3. The Same

_Takes place a couple of months after The Art of Hitting Rock Bottom. This is a little OOC for Renji but he's upset and suffering from withdrawal. So he has a viable excuse._

_Trigger warnings: Talk of Rape, general brutality and drug use but no actual scenes._

_Uryuu/Ulquiorra friendship_

The Same

_Inspired by the drawing "Oh Brother Mine" by daretobeboring on Deviantart_

Yumichika punches Renji square in the jaw before Ulquiorra can hold him back.

"You ass!" Ulquiorra struggles to keep the effeminate man quiet. This _is_ the ICU after all. "How long have you been using?"

"For about a year." Ulquiorra manages to hold Yumichika back this time. Even though this_ is_ mostly Renji's fault, he's not the bad guy here. Ulquiorra knows drug addiction at its finest and he knows he can't bring himself to beat up the pathetic mess of a man before him. Renji looks absolutely pathetic, methadone can only do so much to ease withdrawal symptoms. The man even can't bring himself to answer as Rukia drags him back to his feet. She's the only on one his side right now and judging by the black eye taking up much of his face, Ichigo will _never_ forgive him for this.

"That's enough." Ulquiorra says roughly before Yumichika can tear into Renji again. Yumichika is a grown man and knows when to collect himself. It took Byakuya, Rukia and Ikkaku to peel Ichigo off of him. Yumichika's easier. He just points at Renji and growls,

"I'm not done with you yet."

Rightfully so, Ulquiorra figures. It took the police three days to find Uryuu after Renji's confession. He's lucky they didn't find a body. No one knew about Uryuu's drug habit but it took Rukia's brother all of two minutes to wring it out of him. _For his own good, _the man had said easily. No, they weren't done by Renji by a long shot.

Uryuu's room in the ICU is eerily quiet. Ulquiorra can barely hear the machines around him. He supposed it was to limit stimuli as much as possible. Ikkaku and Byakuya are already in there trying to convince Ichigo to leave Uryuu's side. He's been there since they found him. He hasn't moved, save for the obvious. Ulquiorra isn't sure if the boy's even eaten. Most likely not. Byakuya is standing against the wall, frowning, arms crossed not particularly going out of his way to get Ichigo to let go of the patient. Ikkaku on the other hand, has been trying to physically pull Ichigo away from Uryuu for the last five minutes. Ulquiorra just rolls his eyes, the scene beyond the comprehension of his existentialist mind set.

"Idiot." He never called Ichigo by his name. "Get up." He said, his voice breaking the silence so suddenly Uryuu's unconscious form responds with a small groan. Ichigo opens his mouth to let an insult fly and by the look of it, it's going to be a doozy, but Ulquiorra doesn't give him the chance. "So your intention is let Uryuu wake up and find that you've let yourself waste away in favor of him. I'm sure when he wakes up, he'll have quite enough on his mind. You shouldn't go out of your way to make it _worse_." Ichigo wants to punch him, yell, say he's wrong, that he has to stay with Uryuu but Ulquiorra is right. He's always right. In fact, he doesn't even bother smirking as Ikkaku and Byakuya lead with the young university student leaving Yumichika and Ulquiorra alone.

Yumichika gazes down at his surrogate little brother. It's identical to the look he gives Ulquiorra when he's in trouble or in over his head. Or both. He takes comfort in knowing that Yumichika thinks of everyone who's been in this room as family. Ulquiorra never grew up in a proper family setting. They're rag-tag bunch of misfits and drag queens, but he's glad for the experience. His eyes go back to Uryuu, so far underweight he looks as though he may break just lying there. He's covered in bandages and bruises, sewn together like a discarded rag-doll. The Rape Kit results haven't come back yet but Ulquiorra can just tell that he's been forced to do something against his will. It makes him a little ill. He bites down on his lip. Unsure of what to do or say, unable to tear his eyes away, he just stares.

"Are you going to call Orihime?" Yumichika asks. Ulquiorra just shakes his head.

"You can." He replies. Yumichika easily translates the response. Even though he's closest to Orihime besides Uryuu and Ichigo, Ulquiorra wants to be alone with Uryuu. Yumichika draws his cell phone and flits out of the room quickly while the other remains in the room alone. Slowly, he strides toward the bed.

He and Uryuu have an odd relationship. Yumichika once commented that the two communicate with just glances. Working at the club, Uryuu does mostly patchwork, fixing costumes and broken shoes. He doesn't say much but Yumichika's incredibly protective of him and now he understands why. Uryuu is a stray. Just like him. He realizes now that he doesn't know a thing about the boy. He knew his holier-than-thou attitude, the way he constantly adjusted those glasses, and that icy stare he dolled out whenever someone made him angry. With a slow reluctant sigh, it dawns on Ulquiorra that he's looking at a younger version of himself.

He groans the minute he realizes that Yumichika knew that before he even walked in and fights the urge to glare at the man outside of viewing window. He can't and does. Yumichika goes out his way to pretend he doesn't notice. Ulquiorra just shakes his head. He'll say something later.

Gazing down at the broken body of their youngest employee, he vaguely hopes that there are no narcotics in those I.V.s. He touches Uryuu's arm. As expected, the boy's skin is clammy, cold and riddled with goosebumps. When he wakes up, he's in for at least three months of living hell. For now, he looks oddly peaceful. He's not in any pain. The hand Ichigo held is turned upwards, begging to be touched again. Ulquiorra decides that just in case Uryuu wakes up, there should always be someone he knows with him.

He doesn't know how long Yumichika's going to be on the phone or how long Ichigo's going to be gone so Ulquiorra sits down in Ichigo's chair. Getting comfortable, he digs into his messenger bag taking out his battered copy of Camus's _The Stranger_. He's read it tons of times before but he still loves it. Without even looking up from the book in his left hand, Ulquiorra takes his right from his pocket and presses it gently into Uryuu's upturned, pleading hand, holding it tightly.

Uryuu's hand twitches, unconsciously squeezing back.

_Thank you for reading. Please review. _


	4. Mondays and Thunder

_Hello, I know it's been a minute but I'm a busy girl. Getting time to read and write is a little difficult. Anyway this chapter is significantly lighter than the rest. Not an incredible amount of angst or dark themes just some diabetes inducing romance. This takes place a few months after the first chapter. _

_Warnings: Non-graphic sex. _

Monday and Thunder

Inspired by "Gold" sung by Steve Kazee in Once: The Musical

Monday afternoon starts out cloudy and carries on through sunset. Spending today in the most lazy way possible, Uryuu's fairly positive that everyone who works at Yumichika's club including himself are a part of a select group who look forward to Mondays. Monday is the only day he has guaranteed off. Tuesday and Wednesday are reserved for learning new routines and rehearsal. Sometimes, if Yumichika hasn't come up with anything new, he just asks them to be ready to rehearse on Wednesdays. This is not one of those times, so Ichigo takes the day off and he and Uryuu spend it mostly catching up on hobbies and being just plain lazy until Uryuu eventually drives himself to distraction trying to clean. Ichigo manages to sit him back down again.

"We're supposed to relax. Now relax." They end up getting into a little play wrestling match over the remote that ends with them watching Wheel of Fortune on the floor with Uryuu's head lying Ichigo's his chest. They spend the whole half hour like that, finishing the puzzles before the contestants on tv get the chance to.

"What would you do if we won thirty thousand dollars just for solving a puzzle?" Uryuu asks propping himself on his elbows so he won't dent Ichigo's sternum with his bony chin.

"Pay off student loans." Ichigo grins. "Then we'd get one of those penthouses." He points in the general direction of one of those large thirty floor luxury buildings that heavily pepper the coastline. Their apartment complex is a little speck compared to those huge things.

"You realize thirty thousand is only just enough to pay off those loans, right?" Uryuu replies raising an eyebrow.

"Rain on my parade, why don't you?" Ichigo laughs poking Uryuu in the side. He's one of the two people on earth who knows that Uryuu is ticklish and ends up getting a very un-Uryuu like squeal of laughter every time he goes for his weak point. He ends up being the one on top this time with Uryuu trying not to laugh still, wriggling against Ichigo's body in an insincere attempt to get free. Ichigo goes in for the kill nibbling on his neck with a playful "nom, nom" getting another bit of giggling from Uryuu.

Somehow this leads to to Ichigo kiss and licking Uryuu's neck in earnest. Without remembering how they got here, they silently decide not to give a damn and end up rocking against each other's hips.

Uryuu never knew his neck could be sensitive until he'd made love to Ichigo, in fact they were together for two years before they even talked about sex. In spite of everything the couple had gone though, their sex life is rather healthy. They developed a complete and total trust around each other before bothering with the physical part of love. Nothing matters more to Ichigo than making sure Uryuu feels and stays safe. Uryuu strives to ensure that Ichigo can always trust him. That desire alone keeps him from relapsing even in his worst moments.

"Ichigo..." Uryuu says though a breathy moan. "You're going to...mmhm...give me rug burn." Ichigo nibbles on Uryuu's lower lip.

"Bed?" He whispers into the kiss.

"No." Uryuu groans out. "Shower." Ichigo chuckles warmly against his boyfriend's chest. Uryuu is remarkably practical even when hard and aroused.

It's raining by now but with Ichigo thrusting about balls deep into Uryuu's tight heat, it's the last thing on their minds. The hot water runs down all of their little sensitive spots. The grunting, moaning an crying out for more "yes, Ichigo, more, please, _please..._" far extends the sound of the heavy rain.

"God, Uryuu, you're so good...only an angel could be this good." He purrs lovingly into Uryuu's ear biting it gently. "An angel...you're such an angel..." Ichigo worships Uryuu's thin, scar riddled body with slow, painstaking attention. Uryuu is always so self conscious but Ichigo could fawn over every inch of his boyfriend's body if the other man would let him. Some days Uryuu laughs it off, says he had a kink for damaged goods but that couldn't be further from the truth. One day, Ichigo promises himself, he'll be able to put his deepest feelings into words and maybe Uryuu will see himself the as he does.

Their orgasm comes like a high rolling wave crashing down and shaking their bodies. They seal their bout with a long passionate kiss and then proceed finish to washing each other off quickly. The water's cold by the time they get out.

They don't even bothered getting dressed on the trip to their bed. They get their clothes ready for tomorrow in nothing but their skin and they land on the bed in a tangle of arms and legs and end up decide that getting up is just not worth it.

It's night and storming heavily now. Uryuu and Ichigo are stored under the covers counting how many seconds in takes for the thunder to catch up to the lightning. Ichigo's right arm is protectively wrapped around Uryuu's waist with the latter's head resting in the crook of his neck.

"1...2...3...4...5...6..." The crash sounded meaning the nexus of the storm was likely six miles away by now but the rain still pelts their windows relentlessly and probably will for the remainder of the night.

"We should do this more often." Ichigo says with a smile planting a kiss to Uryuu's hair.

"What, count?" Ichigo takes a minute to revel in Uryuu's well known sarcasm with a with laugh.

"You know what I mean." He chides. Uryuu nods.

"Yes...I like this. A lot. It's peaceful." He smirks wryly at Ichigo propping himself back on his elbows for the second time today. "We don't get _peaceful_ very often do we? Are you thinking about taking a few Mondays off then?"

"Thinking about it. Maybe two Mondays a month. How's that?" Ichigo asks after a brief pause. Uryuu's smirk blossoms into a one of those his rare, beautifully genuine smiles. He approves the decision by stamping it with a long, tender kiss. "I love you, Uryuu." He whispers causing Uryuu to pull back for a moment.

"That was sudden." Ichigo just shrugs in response.

"It's true and I'm an honest man." He replies cheekily and lifting his head to place a kiss on Uryuu's nose leaving the other to chuckle and settle back into the crook of his neck.

"I love you too."

_I just felt like Ichigo and Uryuu needed sappy romance in their messed up lives. It's a good breather to the angst and trust me I'm thinking of another chapter full of angst. Just don't think it's going to happen anytime soon. These stories are updated with all the consistency of oatmeal. Thanks for reading. _

_My love to you, please review. _


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